you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
