He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
