so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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