It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize