Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
