ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
