You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize