...so i touched it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
