Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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