I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
