I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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