I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
