I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
