just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
