Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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