Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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