all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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