You're completely useless in the revolution.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
