I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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