therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
