I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We're facebook friends in real life
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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