just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
