glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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