3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize