He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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