I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
