I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
