She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
