ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
