Pregnant stripper...not hot.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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