please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
