whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
