Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
