that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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