Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
