Define "chronic" masturbator.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
