Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
