we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
