I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
