I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
