Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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