just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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