Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
