You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
