what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
