A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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