So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's get the cat blown out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
