College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she peed on how many people?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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