No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize