I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
