im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
