I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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