At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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