Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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