If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize