actually, I'm a sock model
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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