his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
