Pappa wants mamma naked
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
