I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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