Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am naked and annoyed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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