hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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