im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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