CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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