Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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