have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Randomize