Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
