Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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